Realizations and the Weather

Wow so many thoughts are running through my head right now that I don’t know where to start or how to explain all of them. I came to a major realization this weekend that I really want to share. I spent the past few days on a retreat with the church I go to on Sunday nights and it was an awesome time. I met so many people and I really hope that I can actually establish friendships with them. It’s one thing to meet them, another thing to actually hang out with them. For the past few weeks I have done a lot of thinking about my life and where I’m at right now…how this is my "transition" period and how it’s ok at times not to be completely happy with my situation in life right now. This has been a very hard year and I have felt so alone at times. So that brings me to this weekend. We had an awesome speaker talking about how God is "I AM" and how he is multi dimensional (I won’t go into it but ask me about it sometime). Before each talk someone gave a testimony and there was testimony that really got to me. This guy, Danny I think is name was, started speaking about how he felt at a loss of what to do and how everyday he has to give it to God. (that is it in a nutshell, I didn’t do it justice at all) At that moment my eyes were opened up to the fact that I am not alone in my feelings. That people go through what I have gone through and that I just need to give it to God. Later that night there was a moment when I was praying and all at once I was completely overcome with a realization. When I needed God the most, when I had Him right there to talk to, I pushed him so far away from me. I hadn’t realized what I had done until that moment. God was always there right beside me, putting people into my life to help me through and I wasn’t giving Him the time of day. There were times when I thought I was so alone… I wasn’t. I have also become so skeptical of people, taking one look at them and not believing anything will come out of them. I was hit with the understanding that God is pure and holy and perfect and he will never let me down! He will always be there in my life and I can completely trust Him all the time. I have also been feeling so sad about all the hurt in the world and how, if this year was so awful, am I going to go through the rest of my life. I need to stop focusing on all the hurt in the world, but focus on God and through Him I can make a difference to help the suffering! I don’t know if what I wrote makes any sense and I’m still trying to sort it all out. I just know that this is the beginning of a change and I hope that slowly I will be able to change some of my perspectives on life. What I have learned sounds elementary, but for some reason it took all this to make me realize it! Oh for a random thought at the end of this… why, if there is nothing to say, do people talk about the weather? Is that the most comfortable thing in the world to talk about??